The Lovedare

32 - Love meets sexual needs
1 Corinthians 7 vs 3 : Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.

 

Comments

Husband has no interest in me and says-there is no connection. I had quit trying to initiate sex after months of rejection. Tried to initiate it for this Dare. Yep, got turned down again.



i would love for US to be one intimately but anytime we have he thinks immoral thoughts and well i try to help him only think of us and he pushes away.



will try to initiate this week as we have done few weeks ago



I just had our second child a week ago today and have not been cleared by my Dr to have sex and he's been getting oral almost every day by me.



I am really struggling, my husband has turned my son against me and has really become a horrible person, he won't share any money matters with me, we are still married.

Community reply
Keep praying for your family. Ask God for strength. God can help. Try to take a moment and breath sometimes and find something that you can find peace in. Definitely pray for your husbands heart.


I am really struggling, my husband has turned my son against me and has really become a horrible person, he won't share any money matters with me, we are still married. At this point i wish he would just leave already

Community reply
I know it's tough pray, pray, pray. He is listening.


I'm stuck, he has moved into the granny flat and there are letters going between our attorneys. I don't know what to do or how to approach this.

Community reply
Pray for your spouse and also remember that sex isn't just the physical it's also the mental. Intimacy isnt just physical starts in the mind. Talk to your spouse as much as possible and pray that God paves the way. Rooting for you guys.


I thought there was zero chance of me completing this dare and I was planning on skipping it. Just three days ago my wife said she didn't want intamacy. Early this morning she initiated sex with me. I was truly stunned and was a miracle from God.



I came home trying to have sex, but she was sleep, I brought home a candy bar she wanted and she woke up to eat it, but she was sleepy so, maybe we get into when we both off this weekend



This is going to be great, she says I don't initiate it, but that's about to change when I get off tonight from work I told her be up waiting on me

Community reply
yay! song of solomon says "you are all-beautiful to me, my love. there is no flaw in you." use this as a premise for your intimate times with her.


im going to say that this isnt going to happen anytime soon. My wife wants a divorce, she wants.nothing to do with me sexually. It's hard to initiate sex when she looks at you with total disgust.



Being separated from my wife, there are several of these steps that I have had to skip. Not necessarily this step, but it's discouraging looking back and seeing how many steps I had to skip and not complete. Honestly, it makes me want to stop.

Community reply
the problem is I've sent letters and she gets more upset so I've had to stop on these dares as well and just pray for a softer heart.
Community reply
And yes you have to skip the physical portion of this one but you can replace it with something like a letter to her.. is. sex is predominantly mental anyway, and it's the comfort that needs to be sought hard to have sex with someone you don't feel comfort with.
Community reply
Don't skip them I know how you feel still do them even if she doesn't accept. Develop your relationship with God. Pray for your spouse and yourself. Grow closer to God allow him to show yall both the love that yall need. Allow him to do his work. Be blessed I know how you feel.


I am going to have to stop here and start over she is not ready for this step I will give her time and when it does happen it will be special

Community reply
Meaning dont start over just do as much as can maybe write a letter to spouse expressing the love you have for your spouse.
Community reply
Keep in mind the challenge is for developing your personal self.


I enjoyed this challenge. sex has never been our issue. Thank God we were on good terms today. Hasn't been easy by far but well worth it. glad we are still willing to try! may God bless our union richly forever in Jesus sweet name

Community reply
Amen


this one is hard... we are currently seperated for the past 4 months still living in the same house he sleeps in the guest room. we have barely had any physical touch so this challenge is almost impossible... any suggestions?

Community reply
I am also worried that it sets us back as we are slowly making progress. I'll just hang on to this day until the time is right I suppose. I didn't think I'd ever get past the day 22 saying I love you as he doesn't want to hear it. but I made it past that day by just waiting for the right time and I waited about 20 days! so maybe I need to wait on this one and move on until it is done... pray for us.
Community reply
the problem is we haven't been physical in 4 months since he moved to the guest room. he doesn't want to fix the marriage so I am scared I get rejected if I try and initiate sex. things are however going better he is spending more time at home than what he did originally!
Community reply
try to do something unique? make it a "new" type of experience? just try something out of the normal routine, spend the day filled with complements and boost his confidence, I don't remember where I saw this but one couple I heard about burns a "tonight's the night" candle and jokes and tease each other about it all day to build up the excitement... I am not sure what would work but you would probably know better than I would.
Community reply
Technically you could initiate, but with that being said just remember that intimacy is predominantly mental. Definitely pray on it and let God guide you with this also.


my husband and I are not able to have sex he is impotent from medicine that he takes but refuses to stop taking it

Community reply
I would say you guys can still be creative sex isnt just physical it starts in the mind. Have a blessed day


Did this in an honourable way. Never really been our problem our problems were deeper and with Gods help and his word we are starting to move forward in a positive way.



I'm not sure how to handle today. my husband has never expressed anything that he wants sexually

Community reply
surprise him


since she is my ex wife I will not be sexual until we get remarried if that ever happens but I will atleast attempt to brush my hand behind her ear by her lobes if she will let me close to her. I'm praying for an opportunity without crossing a line.

Community reply
Try again Paul** This is such good news, you two are on my mind often. Praying**
Community reply
ok well I got a hug in but she was pretty busy so I'm gonna count that as a win for today. I might see her tonight so maybe I can try again.
Community reply
after thinking about it a little bit I think I will skip this one and come back to it later. unless God opens a clear door. I will not have sex with her until we are remarried but when God opens the door I will hopefully be able to give a sensual appropriate touch. I'll probably come back to this later hopefully.


this won't be happening ever. she said that she is past trying to repair our marriage and I can't fight anymore. I have been wearing my ring everyday but I think it will be my last day

Community reply
I get that.


I tried to initiate and got told I need to take better care of myself and that I've gained weight, tried again today and got told I just don't get it he doesn't feel good we only have sex when he wants a quickie



today I feel like I completed this task bc I have my husband intimacy which I have learned recently he enjoys along with spontaneity. he was highly intrigued.



I have to skip this. my husband says he will not give our marriage a second chance no matter what. being initmate with him, gives me hope, and after it happens he makes sure I know he wants the divorce.

Community reply
I did this anyway... and he rejected the tangible gift that said I love you


well I tried to initiate sex but I just get met with get out of there.