The Lovedare

18 - Love seeks to understand
Proverbs 3 vs 13 : Happy is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding

Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

 

Comments

Today a yelled at my man, I am take this very strongly and he still feels like I have an Agenda. And it up set me so bad. I know. I shouldn't have yelled. But it made me mad. Now I don't know how to fix this.



Today a yelled at my man, I am take this very strongly and he still feels like I have an Agenda. And it up set me so bad. I know. I shouldn't have yelled. But I love it make me mad. Now I don't know how to fix this.



My husband is not with me right now we hsve to do things over the phone.



shes still living two states away so i could not make dinner or a phone call because she still doesnt want me. I will continue to pursue her and this dare.



People don't change. can't catch a break. Always have to work for any kind of attention and affection, and that is not a guarantee. Not a fan of my wife- Love my kids. This is a cycle. Uninstalling.

Community reply
i wish you waited a few more days


I made one of her favorite dinners. Went all out. She is absolutely hurt and done with this marriage. I will persevere and trust God in everything, because I have nothing left on my own. Not even a wife.



Treat my wife to a special Lunch date at lovo and also at Feet and Nails. She opens up more to me and beco



its raining very hard but we proceed in our date



how do you do this if you get rejected every time

Community reply
refer to Fireproof for that information.


how do you do this if you get rejectwd every time



how do you do this dare if she dose not want anything to do wiht you.... im seeking God in all ways now and im strugeling to let go im stuggeling to let God do the work.... please help me



any idea on how to do this dare while away on business

Community reply
I would say this would be a perfect time to do exactly what the dare says to seek understanding ask questions via text and or take the initiative to be different and write a letter. Seek to overall listen without responding. Godbless!


I am having a hard time doing the LD because he will take advantage of the situation. He is the type of guy now that if it does not lead to sex he is not interested. I am mainly doing this for me now.



progress with wife though we apart. im living with family & my kid chose to stay here as well.my family is troubled&so is hers with this drama & majority want this union broken.im also bit concerned this myt happen again.how should i confront this?



Day 18: I got away from the LD. We were doing better, I assumed everything was fine. We're struggling again. I need this daily challenge to remind myself that marriage should never be taken for granted because it's easy to become complacent.



We have a pending snowstorm, so he offered for me to stay over his place. So I'm cooking dinner for the family, he won't do anything alone with me.

Community reply
Hey progress is progress. That will give you guys time to be able to form the proper communication lines again and rebuild in the family light.


Im not a good cook unless im baking or on grill and we don't have a grill and I realize that she needs me to surprise her alot more



I'm feeling anxious about the dinner, I'm not sure how it will go and everything went against me in getting extra money to buy the goods to make this nice. I also felt last night that he has lied and could of been with some while he was away.



It can be very discouraging to have some of these steps that I can't do because we are separated and thousands of miles apart.

Community reply
Definitely understandable I know your situation. I would say definitely, use this time to let these steps improve your relationship with God also and your prayer life to pray for your spouse. Seek to also improve the communication between you two if possible also.


with no childcare and no family to help, not sure how to pull this one off. as much as I'd love to, hiring a babysitter is. ot feasible.

Community reply
I can try for this weekend. He doesn't get home from work until 9 o'clock at night
Community reply
Try to keep a positive mindset and just do it to the best of your ability.


Made two snack plates, with flowers and card "saying i love you" which she appreciated and we have it together and chat about few things. Thank you lord for the opportunity! ❤️

Community reply
Amen! Sounds great rooting for yall.


I did fail we had a fight that got fiscal and bad.

Community reply
Definitely try to abstain from physical confrontations that isn't really healthy to the goal you are trying to obtain. Bring God into the relationship make him the centerpiece and resolve to walk away if the conflict is more than the communication.


Made steaks on the grill and we talked about teenage years before we met. Went great and I think we are both really investing fully in us again. I pray anyone reading this can find joy in their marriage again.

Community reply
I thank you for your prayer.. Hope's up!


I kinda tricked my ex wife to coming over to have dinner with me and the kids tomorrow night. I kinda feel guilty about it but I know she wouldn't come if she thought it would be just me and her. pray for me. -Paul Adams

Community reply
praying for you. never lie to someone you love. it will never work well. truth is always the way.
Community reply
yeah, it didn't work so well. she asked me if I was using the kids as a reason for her to come over and I said yes. kinda blew up in my face. I really thought having dinner as a family would help her to remember the good times we had together and being that I'm an Executive Chef she knew it would be something to look forward to. she asked me why I was giving the kids hope and told me we were never getting back together. I wanted to retaliate by naming off why she divorced me and how selfish she was being to me and the kids but I held my toung, instead I listened to all the things wrong and agreed with most of it because most of it is true. probably the only thing I did right today. I really shot myself in the foot on this one. not giving up but I definitely took a huge step backwards.
Community reply
Be careful, Paul. The deceit may spur additional memories or triggers. Better to offer and be turned down, rather than deceive her.
Community reply
praying


I keep planning this and things keep messing it up



This one went down the drain. Prepared his favorite meal, had music playing, candles lit, put a nice dress on...His words exactly were " this is not a good idea". So I ate dinner by myself.



this one is going to be really hard to do. I would love to make dinner for her but she must first be willing to see me



When I try to do it never works so what else or other things that I can do at a point that I don't know anymore it's sad but true😢😢 I need someone help



Merry CHRIST-Mas everyone!! Today is a great day! We woke up and watched our daughters open presents. We're watching movies today and playing games! Its good to see her smiling and full of Joy!



so I decided to continue this... its hard to have a 1 on 1 dinner with our kids in the house. I did make something she loves. She had errands to run after work. She was excited and appreciative when she got home. step in the right direction.

Community reply
perfect keep faith and patience you are almost there.


this is very challenging dare, where we had heated discussions yesterday and I can see she hated me so much, I don't how to convince her to have dinner with me, Any advise?



so if she won't talk to me and has me blocked on everything but email what can I do



We didn't have dinner but I did ask him all of the questions in the book!