The Lovedare

17 - Love promotes intimacy
Proverbs 17 vs 9 : He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends.

Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

 

Comments

been doing all of these challenges from a distance and with little to no communication. need advice how to do this one



Learning to die to myself daily and actively put her before me is hard. I could probably sabotage any future relationships she may have with her secrets, but also any chance of reconciliation. Keeping peace and not being critical is the lesson here.



my spouse strunggle with financial difficulty by which she open up. I cant help or gave advice to her but I understand how she felt. The heaviness that need to be prayed for.



ok well today was a step in the right direction. for a breef moment my wife looked at me wiht love in her eyes. and now she dismisse it... i wil keep on and on untill i have won her haert over again... only God can help me now



I've been practically begging my husband for any kind of intimacy it doesn't necessarily have to be sex.e hell if you're not going to love me the way I need to be loved then I know somebody elwho will.

Community reply
Definitely try not to think like that, in a marriage while I understand your frustration, "the somebody who will"shouldn't even be a thought. You are married, stand strong and get rid of that person. Sit snd talk with your husband, discuss your needs. Pray about this also. Seek God before you seek outside attention from other people. God values marriage tremendously. He doesn't honor extramarital affairs. With that being said, I do hope that this dare helps to develop you in the areas you need and him vice versa. Definitely remove any hindrances to yall being able to work it out. Pray for your spouse pray for yourself. Put God as the center.


My husband has a lot of resentment and anger towards me for things I've done to him before we were married over 20 years ago and I don't know how to fix it💔

Community reply
Seek God's help in helping your husbands heart to heal. Pray before asking for his forgiveness if necessary so that God can posture his heart effectively in resolving the matter. Also, allow these challenges to bring you closer to God, through prayer, petition, and bible reading. As you become better and grow closer to God he should began to see the difference. Make God the centerpiece of your home and allow him to work. Hope this helps Godbless.


long time trial... trying very hard to stay honed into his needs and undistracted, but I always seem to fail. he no longer hears my side of things or asks for my "why", just dismisses it, says he doesn't care and refuses to listen or hear me finish.

Community reply
Lift him up in prayer to God, ask for Jesus to speak to his heart and help him to be more patient with you also. With that being said don't be hard on yourself speak focus over yourself. Also make sure that you take time to take care of your needs also, don't neglect yourself.


Talked and listen to my wife, we had honest conversations, however she still feels limited love for me left, which makes it hard for me to accept, as my love for her are endless.. Xx ❤️

Community reply
Definitely stick with God on this, love has to be grown and cultivated. You definitely can get it back just keep putting in the effort, pray and don't give up.
Community reply
God will make the changes if you follow His path and pray for it.


I did try to speak to him but he chose to be quite and not talk to me at all but we did braai together and eat together

Community reply
Hey quality time spent is still a blessing. Progress no matter how big or small is still progress.. Godbless yall got this!


This is an important one for me. I spent months not truly listening to her and I almost lost the most important parts of my life. I think she knows she is heard and protected daily now I pray we can heal



doing the best I can. I'm trying to open ways for her to talk to me but she is being very closed to me and rightfully so. please pray for me to have God soften her heart towards me even if it is undeserved. -Paul Adams

Community reply
Will Do, Paul. Also...read/listen to Brené Brown's book...Daring Greatly. It has really helped me gain valuable insight about myself.


I'm divorced and trying to have an intimate conversation seems like a near to impossible task.. she talks to me as little as possible and when I do call it's quick answers and even quicker to hangup. prayer for an opportunity would be appreciated.



I'm struggling to find out how I can accomplish this by growing, I feel like I already listen and make my husband feel heard and safe but I don't want to just pass it by. open to any input.

Community reply
unless of course he is asking for advice specifically.
Community reply
don't give advise, sometimes men just want to be heard when speaking. advice will make him calm up.


I have tried to talk to my wife but I know she is still mad at me and doesn't want to talk to me. I have just been checking on her because of the weather but I feel she thinks I'm just trying to bother her



this day was harder to discuss. I attempted to do what I think the purpose of this dare was but received little feedback



Tried to do ended up in a huge argument. She wants me to move out after the holidays. Says she's not changing her mind! im done with this challenge.

Community reply
it takes more then 17 days give it 50 days